Tuesday, April 5, 2011

your face

I hope that if you ever get mauled by bears,
they stay away from 
          your charm
your teeth 
            (because you brush them so
fervently)
your           wrinkled nose
laughing eyes
       freckled cheeks
dimpled grin
            because i think you’re
cute



2 comments:

  1. Falling with FeathersApril 5, 2011 at 4:50 PM

    This poem I LOVE.
    Wow.
    The way you write it, space it, makes it extremely unique.
    I adore the commentary and simplicity that stick out when you first read it, and the way it makes you smile when you reach the end.
    Try as I might, I can't think of any critisim.
    You asked to edit your other poem, and I will, but I think that this one is fantastic.
    Once again, Wow.

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  2. Falling with FeathersApril 5, 2011 at 8:43 PM

    Wait, I do have one thing I would change. (after reading this poem five times!)
    I would put some king of punctuation before "because I think you're cute" to seperate it more. Perhaps a colun or semi colun.
    :)

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