LIFE MOVES FASTER THAN YOU KNOW.
GOT TO HOLD ON,
DON’T LET GO.
SPOOLS OF GOLD AND HIDDEN NAMES,
no bigger than a thumb and ginger bread games.
GOT TO HOLD ON,
DON’T LET GO.
SPOOLS OF GOLD AND HIDDEN NAMES,
no bigger than a thumb and ginger bread games.
pack your basket with wolf teeth,
slip from midnight to your treasures
beneath the sea.
slip from midnight to your treasures
beneath the sea.
This is really interesting. I like the last stanza the best; it sounds cool.
ReplyDeleteWhat I would do to improve this is pick up the fairy tale thread right in the beginning, because right now it seems almost a little random. I mean, I understand the connection btn it and the beginning, but there's a disconnect in the poem, where I mentally stumble.
If you want to keep the "stop, go slow", I would put a period after stop.It keeps the reader from ignoring the main message. And I might get rid of the equal sign; it seems a little awkward.
Second stanza as well I would definately add more substance to, because it seems a little out of place.
But once again, I really like the last stanza. :)