Tuesday, April 19, 2011

heart

he was a pyromaniac
 everything
    he set everything on fire

his world up in flames
 then he flicked his lighter
                       
now my heart has
                                              third degree burns





*****************


he was a pyromaniac;
 everything
    he set everything on fire;

his world up in flames.
 then he flicked his lighter
                        
now my heart has
                                              third degree burns

2 comments:

  1. VERY nice poem; tons of cool imagery within it!
    What I might do to give it a little more pazaaz is add some punctuation.
    For example adding a semi colon after the first line, and another at the end of the third line. A Period at the end of the fourth...
    Just a suggestion. :)

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  2. I really enjoyed reading your poem Olivia! You're wrong! Your poetry is great!!! I love how you moved the words around!. I agree with Katarina, some punctuation may give it a final touch as well as your imagery is amazing! You should be really proud of this Liv!

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